Do Thestrals See Their Own Reflections?
by Arhtea
Summary: Written for QLFC season 6 round 1. I should be too young to know what death tastes like. Yet I feel it coating my tongue and my lips, inching slowly down my throat until I can't fight it anymore.


**Team: Pride of Portree**

 **Round: Never Have I Ever**

 **Position: Keeper**

 **Keeper's Prompt: Write a magical creature you've never written before**

 **Word count: 1373**

 **This is my take on where Thestrals come from. It is completely my own and not canon.**

 **Warning for death of a child.**

* * *

 **Do Thestrals See Their Own Reflections?**

I should be too young to know what death tastes like. Yet I feel it coating my tongue and my lips, inching slowly down my throat until I can't fight it anymore. She has come for me. The lady of eternal peace offers me her hand.

Why is this happening? I was always a good girl, wasn't I? I listened to Mummy. I tried to please her, didn't I? What did I do wrong? Why me? Please, God, _why me_? I don't want to die! I want my Mummy. Please, God, I don't want to die!

Everything goes black. Death tastes like blood and metal.

* * *

The sun is warm. The golden rays tickle me and coax me to stand. My feet are shaky but I get up slowly. I'm near the edge of a stream. The sun is bright, the wind is gentle, the air smells like summer. I remember fragments but they slip by and I don't try to reach for them. Instead I feel the urge to run. It takes me some time to get used to it but finally all four feet hold me up and I run. I run and I run. I drink in the summer air and feel my wings yearning to spread. I give in. It feels glorious. It feels like heaven.

* * *

Mother says I died. I don't know how I feel about it. I know I used to be different. I had two legs and no wings. I know something happened. I remember pictures. Shards. Someone screaming. Blood. Pain. But thinking about it makes me sad and so I don't. I put the shards behind a wall and forget about them.

I'm not sure what death means exactly anyway. When Goldie my little fish died, my Mummy just said that she went away to a better place. And they took her away and I never saw her again. Just like I was taken away from Mummy. But it doesn't all seem that bad. Mother found me that first day by the stream and promised she'd take care of me now. She's different from Mummy but she has wings and four legs like I have now and she can teach me how to fly above the clouds or find the best spots with the sweetest grass. She also tells me I should not be sad because death need not be the end.

* * *

Most people can't see me. It bothers me a bit because they'll ignore me and when I nudge them gently for a treat or two, they get spooked and flee. Even those who can see me are often scared and I don't know why. I've seen my reflection in the water. I'm pretty and black and Mother says I'm graceful.

I have asked her why people don't like us but she doesn't want to talk about it. She says it is better to stay away from humans. The forest already provides us everything we need. But I'm still curious. I asked Jean once. He is one of the older ones and knows all the best places for apples. He just sighed and said humans are afraid because through us they come face to face with their own fragile mortality. He likes to use big words. The others whisper that he used to study philosophy once. I asked what _that meant_ but then the words got even more longer and confusing! I don't understand him most of the time. He says it's okay, though. Maybe I'm just not ready to face the truth either.

* * *

Sometimes a girl comes to feed us. Her name is Luna and she is strange. She isn't like Mummy was even though she looks a bit like her. But she always has fresh and crispy apples and she saves me the ripest ones. Then she sits by me, strokes my back, and tells me stories. Sometimes they are happy stories and sometimes they're sadder. She talks about her mother often. Sometimes when she does, she gets sad and I try to comfort her. I learn her mother, too, has died. When she left, I suppose she didn't come to where I did. I wish I knew where she was so I could show her to her daughter. I wonder why people have to leave. Why can't they choose not to die? Not to leave?

* * *

Luna is not afraid of me. She makes sure I know that it is not my fault people sometimes think I bring bad luck. She explains that death is sometimes scary to them and hard to understand and that's why they don't want to see me. Because they sense my soul. They know I've died once. I'm still not sure I completely understand. Death isn't something to be afraid of. I still miss my Mummy and my dolls and the house we lived in but my new life is good too. There are new places to explore and always plenty of food and I can even spread my wings and soar above the clouds.

* * *

Luna comes to me without stories and without apples. She just places her head on my neck and cries softly. She tells me someone had died. A good man. She tells me he is gone and he is never coming back. That night after she leaves I realize I haven't seen my Mummy in years. Mother is nice but...I can't even remember my Mummy's face and it feels wrong to have forgotten. The fragments are all I have. Is this what death means? Leaving and never coming back? I try to reach for the fragments, clinging on to each and every one of them for dear life. I see Mummy putting me in my bed promising to be right back. I see their faces; cold metal masks. I see lights that hurt. I see cuts and blood. I see nothing but green.

* * *

Death tastes like blood and metal.

I remember that I died. The men in masks and robes came into my home. I was alone. Just a six year old girl playing with her dolls while Mummy ran down to the store. They didn't care. They hurt me and they killed me. But I couldn't accept that. I was sad, I was angry. I didn't understand why it had to be me. Because like those who cannot see me and those who turn their heads away I too did not understand the reality of death. And my soul clung to this earth and refused to let go. I had to understand and accept what had happened first, because while death needn't be the end of the journey, you can never move on until you've figured out where you are.

I know I will miss Luna. I also know there is something else waiting for me once I am ready to move on. There's a future out there and I want to embrace it. I say goodbye to Luna. I think she understands. She's a bit sad but she strokes my neck and brings me her final apple. It is so ripe it tastes like marzipan. We cry quietly before she kisses me on my forehead and whispers she understands. We aren't meant to be like other creatures. We are not born, molded after our parents. Our bodies are created for souls that do not know how to go on. It is a way given to us so we can make peace before we accept what happened. Luna says I was always meant to leave and she's glad she could know me.

I wait until the sun has gone and the moon slowly showers the woods in its silver glow. Then—I hesitate, but Mother nudges me forward. I must leave like all the others have left. Like Jean left two harvests ago. I smile at Mother and she smiles back. I don't know if we'll meet again, but the world is endless and so are the opportunities within it.

Finally, I am running, I spread my wings and I fly. I fly towards the moon. The earth grows smaller and smaller. I don't know what lies ahead. But I know I am ready!


End file.
